Meghna

Bikram Yoga

2009-12-04T13:07:00.000-08:00

I'm trying a two week membership to Bikram Yoga. In case you don't know, a Bikram yoga class consists of two sets of 26 moves done at 105F. A class lasts ninety minutes. I like regular yoga, but have a hard time fitting it in my workout schedule because I don't necessarily find it to be a workout. It's stretching and I feel great after, but my heart rate is not too high and I'm not sweating. The 105 degrees takes care of that. I can feel my heart pounding for at least some of the moves and am sweating balls the entire time. I still don't know where I stand on it though. I feel like I'm not getting enough of a stretch with Bikram, but that is probably because at 105 degrees, my muscles are already warm and pretty pliable. I wish they worked in some different moves too. But it is always the same 26 moves. And my biggest gripe: the yoga room is carpeted. It's like a big old nastiness incubator. It was difficult not walking out the first class because I was so disgusted by the thought of the carpet. On the plus side, when I swam recently, I did notice that my breathing was easier. And I have lost a pound or two, but this may also be credited to a slight change in my lunch routine. I don't know yet if there are other benefits. A friend of S's did it for two years as an alternative to surgery for a torn ACL. He said it made a big difference. And in my three classes, I have been able to increase the bend in my knee. I think I'll have to try it a little bit longer to see. If you've tried it, let me know what you think.

The Scot's Have Talent!

2009-04-15T11:45:00.000-07:00

Man! I have never seen anyone own a song like Susan Boyle when she performed on Britian's Got Talent. If you haven't had a chance to see her performance of "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables check it out here on Youtube. When you learn more about her background and her promise to her dying mother (ensue violins), you really understand that the song means something to her and she has an attachment to those lyrics. She FEELS that song. The emotion, I think, is key to any great performance. The pipes don't hurt either in Susan's case, but man, did she own that song.

Radio Lab

2009-04-13T13:27:00.000-07:00

I recently moved away from the city to OC-land. However, I am still "working" in the city and so spend many of my days commuting via public transportation. As many have told me, I've been given the "gift of time". I [more aptly, I think] consider it a curse, since I can't really do experiments or go for a jog on the train. It's a staggering loss of two hours. But I have discovered a gem of a radio show that helps me pass time, keeps me amused and entertained, and teaches me a little something too. It's WNYC's RadioLab program. I love it so much, I listen to it even when I'm not on the train. Sometimes I jog with it playing. I would start with the "Yellow Fluff and Other Curious Encounters" show, but they're all really very good. I do recommend that you listen to the full episodes though (about one hour) and not the short, in between-seasons podcasts they put out. Those just leave you wanting more and they're not produced to be as complete a story as the full episodes. If you do get a chance to listen to them, let me know what you think.

P.S. I have also read about four books (including one that was almost 1000 pages), caught up on my lab notebook, heard many new albums and napped on the train. So maybe it is the gift of time, just not the kind of time I would have preferred.

ACL Update?

2008-08-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

So that ACL reconstruction diary lasted a full three days. That's pretty impressive. A lot of things have happened with my recovery since then, but I don't know if I want to talk about them at this point. To all of you who have come here for your own knee questions and concerns, let me please refer you to two great forums that helped me out quite a bit:

Knee Guru
Knee1

ACL Day 2 (March 30, 2008)

2008-04-10T22:24:00.000-07:00

I'm anxious about the amount of Vicodin I'm taking, and decide I want to start weaning myself off of it. I take a reduced dose at 2 am. At 6 am, I get up to throw up. This happens again for the next few hours. If I even lift my head, I immediately vomit. I haven't eaten anything for hours. I don't drink anything since that induces vomit as well. I start throwing up bright yellow bile. This continues until about 1 pm. At this point, I seriously think I am done for. I don't think I have ever felt this sick in my life. I am praying every conscious moment I have. S calls the hospital. And tries to page the surgeon. The doctor on call takes two hours to get back to us. He tells us to stop taking the Vicodin and to try to slowly get some liquid into me. And if I'm still unable to hold down liquid after a few hours, get to the hospital. He also says to switch to Tylenol for pain relief. I know my family and some friends want to visit. S tells them it is not a good day. One comes to help, but there is not much to be done for me. They help S though. He is able to shower and they get lunch for him. I am exhausted. I have no food or liquid in my body. I drink a sip of Gatorade every hour or so. I nibble on an edge of a cracker after a couple of hours with the Gatorade. My stomach is very sore from throwing up. I mostly sleep. At the end of the day, I'm able to have a cup of soup. But I'm effectively off of Vicodin. And I have a very disgusting taste in my mouth for the stuff.

ACL Day 1 (March 29, 2008)

2008-04-10T22:11:00.000-07:00

I wake up a few hours after getting home. It's past midnight. Friend is on the couch asleep and S is not home. I ask her where he went. She tells me he went to go fill the prescription for my pain killers (love is constantly reaffirmed). He gets home two hours later because apparently the only 24 hour pharmacy on the Westside is out of Vicodin (surprise, surprise). I promptly fall asleep after taking the Vicodin. When I get up, it's morning and I feel alright. No throbbing pain in the leg. I even call some family and friends and let them know I'm doing well. I send out texts and email. Laugh a little. This knee surgery thing isn't as bad as people paint it. I make sure I take the drugs on time. I eat a little here and there. Watch some TV. Go to sleep early.

ACL Reconstruction

2008-04-05T10:46:00.000-07:00

So I recently tore my ACL (and MCL) skiing and I elected to have ACL reconstruction surgery because my knee was still wobbly after a couple of months of physical therapy and I wanted to be able to return to a normal level of activities: biking, running, skiing, etc. The surgery was last Friday, March 28, Day 0. So much has happened, I wanted to write about it.

DAY 0 (March 28, 2008)
The day of the surgery. An hour before the surgery, I started freaking out. The depth of what is about to happen hit me. I was so focused on post-op recovery before this, that I never really thought about the surgery itself. And the thought of it is barbaric. Basically: they slice some of my patellar tendon, drill holes into my bones and sew and nail in the tendon. The anesthesiologists come by before surgery and explain how they'll be putting me under general anesthesia AND using nerve blocks to kill sensation in my leg. They explain to me that when they are inserting the block, my leg will start twitching and hitting the table (this is normal). Well, what they didn't tell me is my ass would start twitching. Violently. But after they insert the first block and turn me over to the do the second one, I was already passed out. My humiliation was short-lived.

My next memory is of waking up in the post-op recovery room being hounded by a nurse telling me that my doctor thinks I'm well enough to be discharged that day. I tell her my pain level and she shoves what I can only assume is an elephant tranquilizer in my mouth because I instantly pass out. Before I know it, I am being awaken by three nurses surrounding me, asking if I'm ready to be discharged. I can barely lift my eyelid and have no idea where my husband is. Turns out, they never notified him. So since I don't give them the all clear to discharge me, they finally decide to get him. He sees me and decides pretty quickly I'm in no shape to go home yet. But now they hound him instead. At some point, they decide I can't be there any more. S gets me up. I can't take the hospital gown off (can't lift my arms) so they tell me to keep the gown. S and a friend pull my clothes on over the gown. They ask for a wheelchair. The wheelchair the nurses bring don't have a leg extender (?). Keep in mind, I just had knee surgery. I can't move my leg. At all. When this is mentioned to them, they reply with "Well that's what we have". S and friend are in awe at this point. I am so angry, I am suddenly wide awake. The nurses start fighting and arguing amongst themselves about who will have to go fetch a wheelchair. S interrupts and tells them, he will get it if they let him know where. This prompts them to move and get it. Ok. Proper wheelchair got. Sumit asks where the crutches are (note: we weren't just assuming that we would be given crutches, the surgeon had assured us that the hospital provided them after surgery). They just look at us. And tell us they weren't told that I would need crutches and they won't give them to us. After knee surgery. At this point, we realize we need to leave at any cost. I have a set of crutches at home that I can use (from the original injury). As I'm being wheeled out, I realize my ivy needle is still in my arm (4 hours post-surgery) but I don't have the energy to voice this to anyone (I'm back to mostly catatonic at this point) so I grunt and raise my arm as high as I can. They are all shocked and quickly remove the needle as they're wheeling me out.

I get home and into my apartment as quickly as I can. I remember S and friend telling me to slow down on the crutches and take a break, but if I am still even a little bit, I almost throw up. So I get to the couch as quickly as I can and pass out.

"Smokey, you know I ain't the smartest man in the world, but, from back here it look like you're takin a shit"...Ezal

2008-02-15T14:28:00.000-08:00

I came into work today, tired and unmotivated as usual. Nothing distinctive from any other day, until I was met with the news that someone took a dump in one of our stairwells. There was a huge commotion with cleaning crew and administrators and photographers (because you know, you need to document when something like this happens, preserve that shit in history). There are now two prevailing theories going around (well really only one, but I'm promoting the second, so two) about how this could have happened. Our building is pretty tightly secure on the evenings and weekends. You can't get in without an ID card. The bathrooms are code locked, and the elevator and all floors are on card access. However, the door does stay open for a few seconds when someone comes into the building, so theoretically one could sneak in. But once they are in, they can't really go anywhere but out. Here's the major theory: it's possible, that someone got in late night without notice and needed to use the bathroom. They're in. They go to the bathroom on the first floor and realize that it's locked. So they try to take the elevator up a floor but the elevator won't go up. So they see stairs and go for that. But to their frustration, the doors for entry into any other floor are locked too. So now they're pissed at this building and they (probably desperately) need to take a dump. What do they do, you ask? Well, apparently, the best solution, one that deals with both their anger and their biological need (two birds, one poop) is pop a squat in the corner and do a number two. Makes sense, you say. Well, to me this seems unlikely, because even though theoretically someone can get in, the person exiting or entering the building legitimately, the one that works here, would notice someone hanging around and going for the door. And we've been reminded numerously about keeping this a secure building, so that person SHOULD be suspicious. No I think this was an inside job. I think this was a fetish being played out. Someone really enjoys pooping in public and they thought this was the perfect outlet for their disgusting desires. A way to express themselves. I think they got a real thrill at the thought of almost being caught. I even think they returned to the scene of the crime. When everyone was standing around in repulsed fascination. I bet they even made a few comments about being outraged at the act. All the while deviously grinning on the inside. Riding high on adrenaline because they had duped every one. Those sick bastards! I feel dirtier for working in the same building as them. Like it was my trust and innocence that was defecated on too.

Lost

2008-02-08T00:06:00.000-08:00

I love Lost. It really gets in my head. It's like a very well written book (where the author almost lost it in the middle there) and I love watching a well directed book. Its better though. Because there are all these puzzles. And clues. And if you're really observant you can figure a bunch of stuff out. There are many sites laden with Lost "Easter Eggs" which magnify and help explain hidden clues, but here are a few things they haven't yet written about. Two theories I'm throwing out there.

1) In the Season 3 finale, when we see Jack in the future with a beard, he attends a funeral. We don't know whose funeral he is attending, but it is potentially another survivor who has returned. After watching the season 4 opener, I think the funeral was Hurley's. The opener was a flash forward to Hurley, but it was behind in the time-line to the season 3 finale's flash forward (follow?). In the 4 opener, we see Hurley is disturbed and alone. We also see that the alleged attorney for Oceanic Flights, who sent this new crew onto the island, is onto him.

ed. I found out what the obituary for this funeral said, and the theory no longer fits.

2) The said alleged attorney and crew are revealed in the most recent episode to be after Ben. Ben originally came with his father as part of the Dharma initiative. But he eventually helped kill the entire Dharma crew in favor of the island's "original inhabitants". Not much speculation has been given to these people. We do know that the man who meets Ben in the woods on the island when Ben is a boy, Richard, has not aged while Ben has. I think Ben is being sought for killing the Dharma Initiative and that the "attorney" has something to do with Dharma and the experiments that were going on on the island by them.

You can Google Lost Easter Eggs for a ton more.

And I love a lot more about the show too. Like the characters. How deeply they are thought out, with their greatness and flaws. And the many different recurring themes in the show including faith vs. science, and the importance (or un-) of time. But those can each take several posts themselves.

In case you haven't seen...

2008-01-28T13:10:00.000-08:00

Bill Gates made a pretty funny skit about how he may potentially spend his time in retirement.

Rest assured hip-hop fans, he prefaced a recent speech at the world economic forum in Davos Switzerland with the following Adam Smith quote, implying that he will focus most of his time on philanthropic pursuits: "How selfish soever man may be supposed, there are evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the fortunes of others, and render their happiness necessary to him, though he derives nothing from it, except the pleasure of seeing it".

Discarded Photographs

2008-01-27T13:08:00.001-08:00

I went to a thrift store in Abbott Kinney the other day. It was a pretty standard thrift store: second hand ties, some with stains, used jewelry with missing stones, dusty clothes hanging on wire hangers, items for [re]sale stuffed into every possible corner of the small space, eventually overflowing onto the sidewalk. I came upon a large fruit bowl with photographs. I asked the proprietor about these and he told me that many times they get photo albums from people with the photos still in them. They got so many that they decided to start selling them. I was fascinated by these pictures. They were as pictures are: capturing a very specific moment of someone's life and freezing it in time. Only these were abandoned or lost.

I kept coming across photos of one particular woman. She had pale, fair skin and red, curly, shoulder-length hair. Seventy percent of the pictures I looked at were of her. It was clear that she had traveled the world. There were pictures of her in China, of her in India, in front of the Taj Mahal, in a jungle locale standing outside of a straw and mud hut, of her in the pilot's seat of a small plane, of her in the desert standing next to a camel. The photos spanned twenty years of her life. She was about forty years old in the earlier ones and and in her sixties in the later ones. In essence, I saw an extended snapshot of this woman's life. She had seen many things. She knew how to fly a plane. There was a male companion in some of the pictures. I began wondering why so many of this woman's memories were here. Discarded. Left to be rummaged through by strangers. I found out that these albums were bought from an estate sale when she had died. The store had acquired six albums. Her children did not want any of the photos because they were of her life with her new husband. A man that was not their father. A man that they did not approve of. I felt very sad. It was not proper that so many of this woman's memories were here. In a dusty, crowded thrift store instead of with someone who knew her and cared for her. Someone who appreciated and admired her journeys. But then maybe they were in the right place after all. Because in looking through her images I, as a stranger, felt some of all of those things for her: admiration, respect, knowledge of her life, appreciation, and concern.

I Heart Pete

2007-12-20T23:42:00.000-08:00

Some of you may be aware that I slightly like USC football. Just a little bit. I didn't always like it. I was here in the Carson Palmer/Mike Williams days, but I wasn't impressed. Williams' shenanigans (not Palmer or other USC players of the time) reminded me of what I had become familiar with and expected of superstar college football players, having been at FSU and UMiami in their heydays. They were self-centered, egotistical players waiting for the day they would be NFL eligible and the money and fame would roll in. I probably incorrectly associated Pete's entire team with this sort of behavior and I didn't want any part of it. But as I watched closely, at both on campus events and during football games, the team almost always handled itself with great class and dignity, both in wins and losses. Whenever I'd hear Carroll interview, it was clear that this was his influence. On the rare occasions that I've been within speaking capacity of Coach, he has always surprised me with his kindness and approachability. I love the team, but really, I love him and the effect he has had on USC football. If you have the time (be warned, it is a long article), please go read J.R. Moehringer's article in Los Angeles magazine about Pete Carroll. It is a great profile that isn't.

Apple

2007-12-18T13:18:00.001-08:00

After they crashed my phone and erased my data (I did not unlock my phone. I had some custom ringtones on the phone, created using iTunes, and apparently that was unacceptable to Apple), I decided to stop giving Apple any more of my money. They have already gotten plenty of it and they are SO greedy for more. Frankly it's a side of capitalism I am disgusted by (as much as I do appreciate a capitalist society, and yes, I do believe my purchasing dollar has tremendous power, this was just the last straw after a series of issues with Apple). Unfortunately, Christmas is making me break this new rule. Although, I've decided enough with them, there are many people on my list that have requested or would really love an Apple gift, so I have to compromise and shell out more money to help them become the mean, greedy, blood-thirsty behemoth that they aspire to be. Because of my guilt over these recent purchases, I'm going to pimp out sites and products that I think are superior to Apple's to hopefully, counteract my purchases.

Amazon mp3's. Wide selection. Easy downloading (and yes, they will add to your iTunes library, if you wish it). No DRM. Many are cheaper (not by much, but it's the principle) and they're higher quality.

Microsoft Office. Great, comprehensive, familiar suite of productivity applications. The spreadsheet can't be beat. Powerpoint and Word are also packed with features. And if you love to hate Bill Gates, there is always the future: Google online spreadsheet and documents (ooo. While writing this up, I saw that they now have presentations).

The Blackberry Pearl or the Motorola Ming. These were the phones I was researching before Apple lowered the prices on their iPhone and sucked me in again. I'm sure most of you are already familiar with the highly lauded capabilities of the Pearl and surely you've seen the addicts who are just some Crazyglue away from making it a permanent appendage extending from their left hand, ready to start texting or emailing at a moment's notice. But, you may not know the Ming. It is not available in the American market, but you can purchase an unlocked one to work on most networks. Your Asian friends who are familiar with it may scoff at you for being so out of date (it was released nearly three years ago in that market), but it is like most Motorola phones: beautiful, user-friendly, and sturdy. If a touchscreen is your wish, this is the way to go. This phone is entirely touchscreen (no built-in keypad). It's architecture is built on a Linux platform so it's stable and open-source (for all you developers out there). I had already placed the order to purchase this phone the night before the iPhone prices dropped. I kind of still wish I had gotten it.

Things I was thankful for this Thanksgiving

2007-11-26T16:21:00.000-08:00

1. Darren McFadden.
2. USC beating Arizona.
3. Lots of family living within 60 miles.
4. Zero traffic in Los Angeles.
5. IMAX 3D.
6. Being multilingual.
7. Being proven wrong about insurance companies.

Our Annual Retreat: "It is a booze-fueled sex romp where anything goes"

2007-11-20T12:21:00.000-08:00

Things that happened at our annual department retreat (in no particular order):

1) One black eye. A guy woke up Sunday morning with a black eye, and no clue how he got it. None of us witnessed any altercations during the weekend (except with this other guy and a fence, and all those people with the doors), so it's quite perplexing to most of us. Full on black eye. Without a known cause.

2) Two lost wallets. Yup. And while searching the bushes and the jacuzzi and the like for the wallets, we found a lost key and a lost cell phone (but no wallets).

3) One broken fence. Someone got frisky with our fence. Enough said.

4) Some really amazing talks including one from our lab where new data was presented. Raising the bar for next year.

5) About eight people running into the glass patio door at different times throughout the weekend leaving face imprints all over the thing, which dirties it up so people know there is a door there, and you would hope, no longer run into it, but, no such thing. People keep running into it. All weekend. Results in at least one fat lip and the most I've laughed in months (sorry B, I love you, but you had a running head start into the thing).

6) So much drinking that I swear some of these biologists have devised an instant liver regenerating technology, because there is no other way they would be able to get up at 8am to listen to two to three hours of talks after drinking until 6am.

All in all, it was a very good weekend, and not only for the social aspect. We've grown tremendously in the last few years and this was a great way to see ongoing research in our department and the different techniques available to us.

Happy Diwali!!!

2007-11-09T12:29:00.000-08:00

Sibling Rivalry

2007-11-08T15:14:00.000-08:00

I was reading a post on Peter DeWolf's blog about how he and his sister used to fight when they were younger. It made me nostalgic and reminiscent of the days when my brother and myself used to throw down.

Anyone that knows us may be shocked to learn that the loving, caring, nurturing relationship we have now (ahem) took years of physical and emotional abuse to foster. We didn't arrive to this place overnight.

One particular incident sticks out in my mind. As I like to remember it, it's the day my brother stopped kicking my ass, or, as he calls it, "The day I learned Pinky was slightly psychotic" (Yah my nickname is Pinky. What?).

My brother had been taking tae kwon do for about a year and he considered me perfect to practice his technique on. A few weeks earlier he had kicked me in the face and busted my lip open. Blood and all. Needless to say, he got in a lot of trouble, but that never deterred him. He started pushing me around again on this particular day, but little did he know, that I had been waiting for just this moment. He got close to my face and I grabbed a pair of scissors that were nearby and went for his lip. I snipped a piece off of his lower lip in the middle (surprisingly close to where he had kicked me a few weeks earlier). He had to go to the doctor. No stitches, but he still has a scar.

You don't have to be a genius to win the Nobel...just avoid boring people

2007-10-25T22:17:00.000-07:00

This post has been in the back of my mind for the past week. Some of you may have heard of James Watson, of Watson and Crick fame, they being credited (by way of winning a Nobel) for the discovery of the structure of DNA. James Watson has an illustrious history of inserting his foot in his mouth. In the past, he has stirred many controversies: he suggested if a gene for homosexuality was isolated, women should be allowed to abort their unborn child if the baby carried it, he has suggested that there may be links between a person's skin color and sexual prowess, or between a person's weight and their level of ambition. He has suggested that stupidity is a genetic disease that should be treated. He is infamous on the lecture circuit for being obnoxious and belittling his contemporaries, most of whom are no longer living. Of his peer Rosalind Franklin, without whose X-ray image of DNA he and Crick would not have been able to deduce the structure of the double helix, he usually reserves exceptional animosity. He has called her an irritable technician, suggested she would get along with men better if only she prettied herself up a bit. He's called her partially autistic and "either not a nice person, or just clueless".

His most recent comments have to do with what he felt would be a genetic basis for race-biased intelligence. The backlash from these latest comments has been substantial, both in the scientific community and out. His many speaking engagements to promote his new book "Avoid Boring People: Lessons from a Life in Science", have been canceled, and he has resigned his post as Chancellor of the Cold Spring Harbor Labs.

I guess avoiding boring people wasn't enough to save James Watson this time. However, I have seen over and over that lessons similar to Watson's "Avoid boring people" do seem to permeate with the great successes in this field. Brilliant science is nowhere near enough. There are more politics, games, under-handedness, and dishonesty than I ever imagined. One of my many majors in undergrad was Math. I loved it. It was pure, logical, and honest. To an extent, I felt (and still do) that biology, at the molecular and atomic level, is the same. It follows the same principles of logic (not logic that we as scientists necessarily always understand) and honesty. But I have found recently that to understand, love, and pursue it in this form is not enough to grant one success. In fact, those principles alone will almost guarantee failure, and this is one of the many reasons I plan on leaving this field after I get my PhD.

Read any good books lately?

2007-10-19T12:36:00.000-07:00

I know it's a cheesy conversation starter, but I am really searching for a good book to read. I've been following the Man Booker Prize and the Nobel Prize for Literature. Although, I'm usually not a big fan of modern literature, some titles I came across looked interesting. And then I found some other ones that may be good. Have any of you read these: Animal's People, A Clockwork Orange, Midnight's Children, The Last of the Wine, True History of the Kelly Gang, and The Inheritors? If so, let me know what you think, or please alert me to anything else you may have read that you like.

Monkey Torture

2007-10-18T17:54:00.001-07:00

It's official. The next time someone asks me what kind of science I am doing I will reply "Monkey torture". Not the rack, bamboo shoots, or anything, but more of a psychological torture.

How did I ever forget about this show? I used to love it. I'm glad I rediscovered it. It's safe to say the next few days will be spent on Youtube viewing all of the State clips they have.

Game Rules

2007-10-07T12:23:00.000-07:00

1) Don't talk to me about "the game" for at least a week after we lose. At least. If you choose to do so, do it at your own risk. I'm normally very rational, reasonable, and overall pleasant. But violate this rule and chances are good you will end up thinking I'm rude, nasty, and if you're in proximity, I will cut you.

2) If we're playing your team on an upcoming Saturday, and you're coming in as the underdog, a 41-point underdog for example, don't tell me anything of the sort of how confident you are that we will obliterate you. Not a word. I know what you're doing and I won't stand for it. That reverse psychology shit works every time. I don't want to hear it. I know you love your team as much as I love mine, so don't front, and give me some proper trash talk.

3) UCLA fans can leave now. Just stop reading. And get out. Seriously.

4) I will most likely trash JD after any crappy game because from where I'm watching, it certainly looks like his fault. But here's the thing: I really like the guy. He's really, really nice. A true gentleman and I feel sorry for him. He looks like he's not playing with any heart, but I know that's not true and he's got amazing talent. So even though I may attack him, and question his QB abilities, I don't really hate him. He's still my quarterback. He's no Chris Rix, that's for sure.

5) Versus? Why are you punishing your fans USC? What did we ever do to you? At least televise the game on a channel that we'll be able to watch on. First you cut tickets to your graduate students, and then you don't let us watch all the games. Don't be so arrogant and assume that you're going to blow out the other team so bad, it's not even worth watching.

A little late, but....

2007-10-04T22:58:00.000-07:00

Oh yah!! Sixteen penalties! For 161 yards! A missed field goal, a blocked punt, and three turnovers! Are you effin kiddin me!? It was a veritable smorgasbord of how to play disgustingly sloppy football. But it was more. It was insulting to every loyal fan who watches week after week. Especially those personal fouls and face mask penalties. To barely win (or even lose) because of a well played game by the opponent is one thing. To barely win because of how we played on Saturday is a whole other issue. That was a painful game to watch. A train wreck that just kept getting worse. When you thought it couldn't possibly. And following a very good Cal v. Oregon game, both teams we're playing away this year. It better get in gear soon.

"Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?"

2007-10-03T15:59:00.000-07:00

A topic that has been near and dear to my heart lately: Why are all [insert your authority figure of choice here] assholes? I mean seriously, do they make you take training for this before you have command over others? Are they required to achieve some minimum level of obnoxiousness before they can manage? Is it a mandate that you are miserable 80% of your life? I swear, sometimes I feel like I really could use some hypnosis to get myself through the next two years.

PS Two brownie points to whoever can guess the origin of the quote in the title.

I dropped my phone...

2007-08-19T19:58:00.000-07:00

...down the elevator shaft. No joke. Seriously. I was getting into the elevator, and there were a few things in my hand which spilled, including my phone. In the amount of time it took for the doors to close (I was the last one getting in), my phone slid on the floor, found the crevice between the elevator door rails and the lobby, and promptly fell down to the inaccessible, underground, garage level shaft. Now let's contemplate bad luck here. My advisor always says there are three very important things you need to succeed in science (they can probably be extrapolated to life as well): good brain, good hands, and good luck. I didn't have much stock in this when I first joined the lab. Definitely not the good luck part. But in the past few months, I've been seeing the error of my naivety and have really begin to doubt certainly my luck, and even my hands. Things have happened, on several occasions, where many have said, "That's just bad luck. You couldn't have done anything about that". I always disagree to some extent, and think to myself "No there is someway I could've somehow predicted and therefore prevented that", finding consolation in the fact that I hold some of the control. But in the single action of my losing my phone last night, when contemplating the sheer probability of something like this happening, I think I'm finally convinced, that yes: I do indeed have bad luck and on top of it, bad hands. I think I need to rethink my choice of career...

The Return

2007-08-11T12:19:00.000-07:00

I'm still around, just don't know what to write about anymore...to the 2 of you who read (hi S and Sandgroper) I'll try to be more of a regular contributor to this place...if nothing else I definitely do need a place to vent lately

Things That I Think (Part Deux)

2007-03-15T16:30:00.000-07:00

6. Bracketology has been occupying a lot of my time lately. My bracket is below. Although I am aware that the odds of picking a perfect bracket ([incorrectly] assuming random wins) are one half raised to the power of sixty-three, or 1 in 9.22 X 10^18, I think mine will be the one that beats the odds. :)

Addendum: #6 was written in a draft [obviously] before the start of the tourney, but I'm still sticking to my picks for the final, so the bracket stays. And when I went back and saw that I had somehow picked Texas over USC, I was so ashamed of myself. It's so wonderful they advanced to the Sweet 16 anyway. That's a loss in my bracket I'll gladly take.

7. Regarding the previous post, maybe, just perhaps, I have been pushing the running a teensy bit too hard lately. Running makes one of my ankles hurt. I think I overextend it. Whatever it is, I'm coming down on it wrong, that's for sure. When I don't run, even if it's only a one day break, the pain markedly decreases. So do I decide to lay off of the running for a few days and let it heal? No. I can't do it. Not I won't. Just cannot. I tried to incorporate swimming into my workout week but it just isn't the same. Not the same intensity.

8. What is it about your birthday that makes you want to eschew the normal routine? I mean in reality, it is just another day. I do believe that it doesn't have to be the momentous day everyone makes it and every year I tell myself it's no big deal. It's just another day and I've been feeling the aging of the year, really, all year. But the closer it gets to my birthday, the less I want to do routine things, the more I start window shopping for a "birthday present", the more I pull out the line "but it's my birthday".

9. Ever tried matching people to cars? For example I was told that I'm not a Civic coupe person (the car I've been driving lately). The Subaru fits me better because I am an All Wheel Drive (AWD) person, but not a 4x4 person. I was naturally excited about this because I'm thrilled at the thought of a WRX Sti, but then I was told that's not me. I'm a wagon. The Sti is too fast and I'm slower. Yup. Slow-paced. Through life. Slow. I think that sucks, but unfortunately, I think it's right. [Read: the birthday coming up above coupled with the fact that, yes, I'm still a student!!] Think about it. What car would you be? Or your friends?

10. I wonder what's more addictive, nicotine or coffee. And I wonder what the differences are in the propensity to be addicted to a substance between the two. I tried smoking for a couple of months in my younger years, but never took to it. It was very easy for me to stop. I don't know if it would be easy for me to stop drinking caffeine. I haven't tried. Not that I'm addicted now. I just don't think I have a problem. :)

Slow and steady...

2007-03-14T15:04:00.000-07:00

Amid concerns from some about how I've been pushing the running too hard lately (I haven't), I thought I'd post an image of my latest running accomplishment. This was my Tuesday run. Note the steadiness of the pace. Almost a straight line with zero slope indicating a consistent, albeit slower than I'd like, running speed. Also, this was the longest distance I've ever run in my whole life: seven miles. I defy anyone to run four or five times a week for more than two weeks and not get addicted to the high. To the feeling of accomplishment and immense strength you feel when you're done. It's also so encouraging when you see improvement in your pace, endurance, health, stress level, and overall well being. Perhaps when my knees start cracking, I'll start singing a different tune, but until then...

Things That I Think (Part I)

2007-02-27T12:35:00.000-08:00

(Thank you to Sandgroper for this idea)

1. The Nintendo Wii is amazing. Revolutionary. Everything I dislike about video games, it fixes. Problem with traditional games: you sit on your butt immersed in a game, not getting any activity but your fingers with the controller. Solution via Wii: An interactive remote with a sensor that ensures you actually perform the move you want to see happen for the game to register it. Although I gotta say I'm getting lots of Wii related injuries these days: pinched nerve from swinging the remote for bowling, sore shoulders and arms from kicking Splendor's butt while boxing :) And then there are the rumors of people smashing their TV's by accidentally throwing the controllers into them...

2. Why are people such downers? Case in point. I was recently telling someone that with 4 weeks of training, I managed to shave a minute and a half off of my mile run time (before you go getting all impressed, my starting time was a turtle's pace of 12 min/mi, now down to 10.5 min/mi, respectable for me). An acquaintance overheard and then joined in on the conversation when we were discussing doing an upcoming race.He felt the need to tell us that unless you can do a 9 minute mile, you shouldn't bother, because you're clearly not fit enough to be racing. Why? Was that really necessary?

3. Unless you want to be humiliated, don't go into a bookstore and ask them to help you find a book when the only information you have is "a recent book with the orange hand on the cover". I'm just saying...it was kind of humiliating when he asked everyone on intercom if they knew a book with an orange hand on the cover. Even more so when I learned the hand was red. (For those interested it was Jonathan Safran Foer's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close: A Novel).

4. Weekends go by SO slow without college football to occupy your Saturdays. We do lots of little things, but nothing like get up, tailgate, game, drive to dinner, drive home, sleep exhausted. In the spring, it's more on the line of: get up, eat and watch TV, go for a drive to the beach or somewhere, back home for more lazing, go to lunch, back home to sit around, go to lab for an hour or two, back home to laze, go to dinner, maybe a movie, back home and more sitting, sleep.

5. Despite all my apprehension of the big 30 for me next year, I feel more confident, more content, more sure of myself and just plain happier now then I have ever before in my life. Although I loathe that I will probably still be a student at the age of 30 without any major success in sight, I wouldn't want to go back and be the person I was ten or even five years ago. I knew nothing of anything. I am pretty certain I will look back five years from now and thing the same about myself now, but for the moment, just the moment, this is a good one.

To Be Continued...

For the narcissist in all of us...

2007-02-06T16:06:00.000-08:00

My new favorite gadget/toy is Balooba Software's Mirror widget for the Apple Dashboard. I know that technically it's not a gadget or a toy for that matter, but it is small, can provide me with with (potentially, because you know I do have work to do...) hours of entertainment, and is backed up with some cool technology. Whenever I'm bored, I find myself hitting F12, bringing up the Mirror, practice some method acting and make funny faces, and do a screen capture of the image. You know, like in Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me: "You're a lemur. Now burrow, baby, burrow!". My new "task" is to make as many funny faces as I can and build a collage of them. Here's a preview:

[Picture removed...creepy comments]

State of Disorganization

2007-02-01T14:24:00.000-08:00

Trying to figure out what band was playing in my CD player this morning made me realize the chaotic state of affairs my music is in. I have an old laptop, a new laptop, S's laptop, S's desktop, and an external hard drive. All of these devices contain different libraries of music. The external is supposed to be a backup, but we are nowhere near backing everything up and there is already some level of redundancy as far as music goes on the external. To make matters worse, I can't write to the external (NTFS formatted) from my new computer (a Mac), so all of the music I have acquired recently will need another form of backup. Now add to that all of my digital music players. Please don't judge me, but I have four iPods. Yes four. I know it's ridiculous and I know that someone at Apple marketing is thrilled to learn that his paycheck is well earned, but I promise that I have a very reasonable explanation on how I got each of my four iPods (another time). I have different music on all four iPods, they are not completely synced to any of my music libraries, and I also have music on my iPods that is not in any of the libraries. And then there is S's iPod (not included in the 4 count). He has music on his iPod that I want which is also not on any of the computers. Oh, and one final thing. There are also plenty of CDs that I have that I haven't yet ripped (including the one from this morning, which incidentally was Taking Back Sunday) and they are not in any of the libraries or on any of the iPods. I have a vision of all of my music on an external hard drive free of redundancy, and an iPod (just one) that contains all of this music with perfectly organized playlists, but I have no idea on how to achieve this vision. Someone please help!!! Any ideas?

5K Training

2007-01-24T22:53:00.000-08:00

I've started running again. I'm on Hal Higdon's 5K Training designed for intermediate runners with some of my own modifications. I've been on it for less than a week now and I'm already popping pills (just Aleve mom, don't worry). This is how I envision myself after my 5 mile run at the end of the week:

Here's to praying that someone will be around to scrape me off of the track. Or maybe dial 911 for me...

Solemn Holiday

2007-01-15T13:05:00.000-08:00

"I believe that even amid today's motor bursts and whining bullets, there is still hope for a brighter tomorrow. I believe that wounded justice, lying prostrate on the blood-flowing streets of our nations, can be lifted from this dust of shame to reign supreme among the children of men.

I have the audacity to believe that peoples everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture for their minds, and dignity, equality and freedom for their spirits. I believe that what self-centered men have torn down, men other-centered can build up. I still believe that one day mankind will bow before the altars of God and be crowned triumphant over war and bloodshed, and nonviolent redemptive goodwill will proclaim the rule of the land.

'And the lion and the lamb shall lie down together and every man shall sit under his own vine and fig tree and none shall be afraid.'

I still believe that we shall overcome."
--Martin Luther King, Jr.

In honor of a great man who believed in an even greater philosophy, and a nation still struggling to realize his dream: Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day. If you can, please take a moment to read through one of his moving speeches.

Fudgems

2007-01-03T15:09:00.001-08:00

We've all seen the shows for the year's best ads. But I think it was high time for someone to cover the year's worst ads, which is exactly what Seth Stevenson over at Slate did. He asked viewers to weigh in as well and they came up with a pretty good list of good marketing money gone way wrong.

My favorite though (and I don't know if I'd call this a bad ad since it did make me laugh out loud) is the Domino's Fudgems ad. When I first saw this ad on TV, I didn't pay much attention to it. I did think it was a little bit gross that Domino's was actively using this "fudgy" block that leaves brown goo all over those who touch it as a selling point. Many Slate readers also wrote in to say that they were surprised Domino's was now delivering hash with their pizza and sure enough the block does look like a huge chunk of grass that leaves liquid pooh in its wake. But upon closer inspection, what I found the most amusing was that the Fudgems talks. It makes the sort of noise a raccoon might make...if it were high...on hash...and had eaten a gluttonous pound of fudge brownies and a whole pizza to satiate the munchies. SO maybe Domino's does know what they're doing and are marketing to exactly the right demographic, the only ones who would consider eating their pizza: stoners. This one definitely gets my vote for the year's best worst ad.

Rose Bowl

2006-12-29T12:40:00.000-08:00

New Year's Day. 2:00 pm. That cursed stadium. We'll be there. Geared up. Screaming loudly. Ready to finish the season. Ready to take on the Wolverines.

And oh yah! The Farmer's Market (I won't link to you now)! What's up with the huge banner saying "The Farmer's Market welcomes the Wolverines"? In Wolverine colors. Sure they're in town. Sure it's hospitable. But no mention of the Rose Bowl in general. Or USC at all. It was more sellout than anything else. To get that extra bit of business during the holidays. Forget the fact that for the rest of the year your establishment is supported by a countless number of Trojans. I don't mind being kind to UM at all. Or welcoming them, making them feel comfortable, wishing them a good game, etc. But really. It was not cool. It seemed all about the money. Or something UCLA fans would do to spite SC. Very 'slap in the face' type of banner. No banner at all would've been much better.

Arrested Development Arrested Indefinitely

2006-12-12T08:43:00.001-08:00

The Chicken Dance Compilation

One of my favorite shows, one of the best on TV, very well written, thought out, great delivery, great slapstick, intelligent and laugh out loud funny shows, was canceled by FOX earlier this year: Arrested Development. I didn't accept it at first because I thought surely someone else would pick it up. It was so original, clever, funny, had a cult following and was critically acclaimed. It had won almost every award a television show could win. It couldn't be scrapped. There were rumors for awhile that Showtime would pick it up, but it didn't happen. And so now it looks like despite an outcry from fans, the show has gone. I have (or will have in a couple of days) all the episodes on DVD which I'll watch over and over again (it really is one of those shows that you discover something new every time: hear a joke you missed, see a subplot alluding to a later episode, etc). I know that not everyone loves the show. Many people aren't big fans. They watch a couple of episodes and just don't get into it. S says "It's too smart for it's own good". I wish though Fox would've taken a risk and pushed through with it for a couple more seasons, or at least move it to a different night if they thought it was bringing down viewership for other shows (Prison Break...really?).

The clip above is a collection of chicken dances done by the family. Most of the Bluths (the family) have a chicken dance. When they think someone is being a chicken, they bust it out. No one's dance comes close to resembling a real chicken but somehow everyone has developed a distinct and hilarious one and every now and then in an episode we get to see one. I'd also like to pay homage by listing some memorable quotes by some of my favorite characters (all the characters are great, it's hard to pick).

Narrator: Tobias listens to a day's worth of his own words, to see what Michael was referring to...
Tobias Fünke: [on tape] ... even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.
Tobias Fünke: Nothing wrong with that.
Tobias Fünke: [on tape] Oh, I've been in the film business for a while, but I just can't seem to get one in the can.
Tobias Fünke: It's out of context.
Tobias Fünke: [on tape] I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks, so to speak.
Narrator: ...and he realized there is something distinct about the way he speaks.
Tobias Fünke: Tobias, you blow hard!

Narrator: GOB had been a pageant judge for years.
GOB: You cannot believe what it does for your sex life.
Michael: I don't want to hear it.
GOB: I don't want to say it -- First place chick is hot, but has an atttitude; doesn't date magicians. Second place is someone weird usually, like a chinese girl or a geologist. But third place, although a little bit plain has super-low self-esteem, so I step in and, uh... lay her crown upon my sweet head.

Tobias: Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over — an analyst and a therapist. The world’s first analrapist.
Lindsay: Yes, and you were almost arrested for those business cards.
...
Tobias: You know Michael, if I may take off my acting pants for a moment, and pull my analrapist stocking over my head, George Michael has been acting strange lately. I think he may have developed what we in the soft sciences refer to as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, or the O.C. Disorder.

Fat free foam fails to fall flat

2006-12-04T12:32:00.000-08:00

We've had an ongoing discussion (read: argument) in our lab about whether full fat milk is better for the cappuccinos or non-fat milk. It started when I told the peeps that I read somewhere that non-fat foams better. Oh my god!! My PI wouldn't hear it. Connoisseur that he is refused to touch the stuff when it was bought for our lab machine. And many other "snobs" (honestly, I'm a snob too but at least less than them, so ha!) agreed. So for months now we've been getting the full fat. Dilemma: Nowadays many of us are also watching our weight and since we have now slowly progressed to a daily cap habit, and are really starting to worry about when we'll have to increase the dosage to two a day, the full fat milk poses a significant problem to the aforementioned weight loss (in my case, more like "please God, no more gain!!"). So last week, myself and another, after about five minutes of "should we really do this?", broke down and bought low fat milk. That act opened the floodgates of courage and boldness for me, and today I went and got the non-fat for the machine (still need to switch labels though, so PI et al think they are none the worse). I still hadn't decided whether I thought one was better than the other. It's difficult to judge because when you order at coffee shops, they usually can't foam well to begin with, and so the nonfat foam just becomes big airy bubbles, where as it is much harder to do that with full fat and you're duped into thinking full fat is better. It's not. It's just easier. Today I foamed the non-fat and was so happy to find that it was SO much better then the full fat. Nice pillowy, cloudy, consistent, non-deflatable foam. One problem though. The milk is so watered down, the cap flavor is reduced. So maybe full fat for the addition, nonfat for the foam? That's a Starbucks order to try. "I'll have a tall cappuccino please with non-fat foam but full-fat milk". I wonder if they've heard that yet. And yes I know how ridiculous this post is. I'm not even going to try to pretend that it isn't out there. But this is me folks. This is how ridiculous/pretentious I've become when it comes to my espresso drinks. I blame graduate school. Great need for caffeine mixed with a drive to really research the hell out of something mixed with time to do it when trying to avoid your own failing research. And my PI. Getting a top of the line machine for the lab. The nerve of him. In my defense, I've already had a double shot.

Goodbye to the Victory Bell (USC v UCLA)

2006-12-02T21:13:00.000-08:00

After having had possession of the Victory Bell for seven years, the time came tonight for it to be returned to UCLA. It had to happen sooner or later. I don't think many expected it to come tonight. I should've known. UCLA people were jinxing me all week: "We all know who'll win. I mean UCLA isn't even ranked"; "We have a 2% chance of winning"; "etc". I hate college football rivalry games. None of the regular rules ever apply. The best teams are so easily and ridiculously intimidated. There is so much emotion involved. Bragging rights are very easily transformed to fighting rights. It was a rough afternoon. I couldn't watch the last 5 minutes, but I couldn't not watch either. So I was constantly sitting down (in a crowd of students all standing) and then getting back on the bleachers to look over everyone's heads. And then sitting back down. The last minute was all sitting. With my hat covering my face. Staring at my shoes. With hands clasped. I figured I didn't need to look up because I would know it was over by the thunderous sound of the UCLA fans celebrating their victory. But there was no thunder. They were loud, but not too much. No rushing of the field. No bringing down the goal posts. Instead I knew it was over by the deafening silence of our student section. Much more painful. It's alright. Good for UCLA fans. But not really. That's not what college rivalry is about. I'm not happy for them. The hell with them. I live in UCLA territory. They're nasty. They've vandalized my car because of my USC plate. I've been threatened and yelled at while crossing the street and I've been cussed at while driving my car (in the last two weeks). It's alright because there's always next year. There's always another chance. In the words of the All American Rejects, whose song has been stuck in my head since my dreams last night, my new anthem for our losses:

"When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along".

Music Nostalgia

2006-12-02T00:21:00.000-08:00

I got a tune stuck in my head the other day. Before long I had placed it and was on iTunes downloading Crazy Love and other Brian McKnight songs that had very distinct memories of 1994/1995 for me. Its amazing and beautiful and strange how music can awaken memories and all the feelings associated with those memories for you. Something you haven't thought of for years is suddenly, and very vividly, present in your dreams that night. Someone you haven't spoken to for what feels like an eternity is now so alive in your mind.

I think musicians are special as artists in that way. They, like other artists, have the power and the ability to render their art to be so many different things to many different people. They have the power to affect the minds, hearts, memories of their fans. But, I know of no other thing besides the sense of smell, that can evoke that same amount of physical nostalgia. That can transform a person to another time and place. Complete with images and emotions. In that way, I think music is really awesome as an art.

I'm so glad to have remembered these songs and have the chance to feel sixteen again. Even if its only for five minutes (that's probably as long as I would be able to tolerate my sixteen year old self anyway).

Women in Science

2006-10-31T22:57:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Larry Summers (for those of you who don't know, ex-Harvard president who said the enlightening comment: "with respect to the presence of women in high-end scientific professions...is what I would call different availability of aptitude" For a full transcript of his speech go here), I get asked the question all the time now, "Is it hard for you being a women in your field?" This is actually an issue that has been on my mind a lot these days. The maelstrom that ensued after Summer's comments which eventually led to his resignation (really more of a straw on the camel's back for him though as far as Arts and Science faculty at Harvard was concerned) made everyone in the field acutely aware of the disparity between the sexes in the life and hard sciences. In September, came Newsweek's cover story titled "Science and the Gender Gap". This was the article that really got me a little frightened. It presented the entire academic tenure system as being discriminatory against women. It became clear that many of the barriers women face in the sciences are of a systemic nature due to this arcane system setup when there were very few or no women in academia and is something that really needs to be reconsidered if we want to provide women with equal opportunities in academia. This article got me worried enough to push me to action. I started organizing a Graduate Women in Biology Group for our department. The response has been overwhelmingly enthusiastic. By every woman we talk to. You see even in our department (Molecular and Computational Biology), there are 32 faculty members, only five of which are women, only one senior female faculty, one emeritus, and three junior. At the post-doctoral and graduate student level, the numbers are different. There are about as many female graduate students in our department as male. It's when you travel further on the career track that the numbers start trickling down. A junior faculty member pointed out to me that it's great that we're doing this, but right now we should be more focused on our science and our research because this is really when everything is equal for both sexes. She's right of course. I may have jumped the gun and I will certainly always give my all for my research, but I still think its important to start fostering an encouraging social network for women early. Certainly the response we've gotten is a sign of how necessary and welcome a group like this is in our department.

Muhammad Yunus

2006-10-19T22:40:00.000-07:00

I was so encouraged when I read about the winner of last week's Peace Prize: Muhammad Yunus and his Grameen Bank. For those of you who don't know, Yunus is the visionary Bangladeshi economist who developed the concept of micro-credit and then made it work in the rural areas of Bangladesh. Grameen Bank gives mini-loans to the poorest people in rural Bangladesh without any collateral. The idea has been successfully employed all over the world and has helped pull many out of poverty.

The story is so inspirational and made me realize how much inspiration I lack in my life. I'm caught in my day to day worries and problems and pleasures. When I was young, I always thought I would join the Peace Corps. Just take a couple of years and do something that had nothing to do with me. As I grow older, I rationalize my decisions or rather, lack of them. Right now, certainly I can't go to the Peace Corps. I'm in the middle of my PhD. I'm married. I'm too old. Etc. But. I will do something charitable one day. I'll open a school. Somewhere where children can't afford to go to school because their family needs them to work. Someday. I will do that. What about now? I know charity and giving is a way of life. There is no appropriate time for it to begin. I know there are people in need now of an education, or a doctor, or a blanket. Or a hot meal. I know that I may not be able to build a school now, but that I can read a book to someone. Or teach them how to do some math. Or serve them a bowl of soup.

USC Football

2006-10-09T21:11:00.000-07:00

I've been on edge all season watching most of the USC football games. I mean I LOVE this team. I love college football in general, but I really love USC football. During my undergraduate stint, I spent time in some amazing college football schools including Florida State and University of Miami. I despised Miami, but loved FSU. However, it doesn't compare to how I feel about USC football. Sure I love that we're good. I love the players, the atmosphere, the games, the coach. But most importantly, I love the philosophy and class of the Trojans. It is something I never saw at UM, and seldom found at FSU. They won me over in 2003 when they were shunned by the BCS for the national championship game. I was so impressed with how much heart they played against Michigan. Without whining. Without complaining. This was their national championship. Regardless of what some bowl said. I knew then that Pete Carroll and his Trojans, my Trojans, were something special. And the following season they continued to play with amazing skill and grace. Now though, I realize I am spoiled. 28 straight wins at home. A record. More than the second and third teams on the list combined. Two undefeated regular seasons (Yes. I have almost effectively erased the Rose Bowl from my memory). Three Heisman winners in the last four years including God's gift to football: Reggie Bush. But I get scared watching us play these days. I'm afraid of losing. I know it will happen. It has to happen. These Trojans look good on paper. But are nerve-wrecking to watch. I was very kindly reminded of games last season, USC v. Notre Dame, Fresno State v. USC, Cal v. USC the year before. All edge of your seat games. All possible losses. Why do I feel so much more disappointed with my Trojans this year? It's not fair to them. I can say though that I will love them when they lose. And continue to staunchly defend them without just reason or sound logic. And I won't jump off of the bandwagon. This love will last a long time.

Overheard

2006-10-07T13:24:00.000-07:00

While deciding rooming arrangements (it should be said that there are A LOT of Asians in our department) for an upcoming retreat:

"What do we do with Young Ho? Where do we put Young Ho?"

When students registered for the retreat, it was recommended that they list their roommate preferences. Someone listed: "Any Chinese graduate student"

Departmental flag football team:
QB: "I've got to say though, I'm the best quarterback we've had yet"
RB: [Sincerely] "I can't argue that"
Me: (Not sincerely] "Yah, you only had like two interceptions"
QB: [Almost proudly] "I had four interceptions"
RB: [Mockingly] "We really need to play the Filipino Student Association next"
Me: "I think you guys are becoming everyone else's Filipino Student Association"

Is it any wonder I love going to the lab so much? This is just a small excerpt from one day. There definitely is no shortage of laughs.

Can you read my mind?

2006-10-05T19:32:00.000-07:00

Over an in, last call for sin. While everyone's lost, the battle is won. On the field I remember you were incredible. You left the nation nailed to the floor With speculation, what was it for. There's someone calling, an angel whispers my name But the message relayed is the same. I always hear them In the dead of night Bones calling, save me from this plight. I know my rights I've been here all day and it's time For me to go, so let me know if it's alright. I know there's a hope There's too many people trying to help me cope. So why do you waste my time? Is the answer to the question on your mind And I'm sick of all my judges so scared of letting me shine. I've got this energy beneath my feet like something underground's gonna come up and carry me. Looking back At sunsets on the eastside We lost track Of the time Dreams Aren't what they used to be Some things Slide by so carelessly Because heaven sends and heaven takes Can we climb this mountain I don't know Higher now than ever before, I Know we can make it if we take it slow Let's take it easy, easy now, watch it go Oh well, I don't mind if you don't mind Coz I don't shine if you don't shine Can you read my mind?

Sam's Town/Nobel Awards

2006-10-04T16:29:00.000-07:00

I bought Sam's Town. I've heard the album twice and it sounds good. I need another week of listening before I can give a real opinion. Music has been on my mind a lot lately. I'm feeling the jazz/blues/soul music much more these days. Craving listening to Norah Jones, Diana Krall, and D'Angelo. Oh D'Angelo. I curse the people that stole all my CDs from my car five years ago. Let the Fates plan some savage stroke against them. May "red pustules appear upon the skin...open and ooze their purulent filth, Burning, rushing fever swelling the body. Black blood bursting through the mouth and nose. The eyes no longer seeing" (I've been reading ancient Greek literature). ANYWAY, they got an amazing collection that I haven't had the cash to replace including some CDs appropriate to this post: my D'Angelo, Faith Evans, Brian McKnight, Isley Brothers...I guess they're more classic R&B than anything else. If it's not obvious yet, I'm not too good with the categorizing. I should've re-cataloged my collection when I had no conscience about downloading and Napster was KING. Now, I feel the necessity to financially support the artists I like (I think) even if I've purchased their CD once before. So I will be without the sexy stylistics of D'Angelo for a little longer. I guess Dave Matthews will have to do for now.

In other news: the Nobel awards. Three wins for Americans: Medicine, Physics, and Chemistry. Two wins for Molecular Biology. Both the Medicine and Chemistry awards were given to work in biology. Both dealing with discoveries with RNA. It's great that the Nobel committee chose to honor work in RNA and bring the "RNA World" into the spotlight. This field has been abuzz for biologists for the past few years. I think everyone expected the Medicine winners, Andrew Fire and Craig Mello, to win at some point or another. Their work was seminal and their discovery led to a technique with profound clinical applications. I think it's a little interesting that Viktor Ambros and David Bartel weren't recognized though for their initial discovery of microRNAs in worm, but I do understand that Mello and Fire actually showed that this natural silencing system found in the worm (and now shown to be conserved in most plants and animals) could be used in other tissues and for general gene silencing hence its clinical/medical applications. It was huge. It's used so often in the lab today that I didn't even realize the creators hadn't yet received the Nobel, and it is definitely a discovery akin to PCR (the Polymerase Chain Reaction), a technique which revolutionized Molecular Biology. Robert Kornberg won the Chemistry prize for elucidating transcription in yeast at an atomic resolution. I'm not as familiar with his work and like his father, the great biochemist and previous Nobel winner Arthur Kornberg, I agree that the details of his work are beyond me, "but I certainly admire it from a distance". Tis a good week for my science.

Obsession

2006-09-29T16:50:00.000-07:00

I must officially accept it. Because to accept is to move on right? I have a new obsession. John Mayer. Its not a normal "oh my god his new album is out its so great i live by the songs" kind of obsession. But something more unhealthy. I check his blog daily. I have read all of his Esquire articles, most of his interviews, listened to podcasts, fantasize about our imaginary time together...do I really need to keep going? In an effort to purge myself of this obsession, I will write about it here.

His new album, Continuum, is out and it is definitely getting a lot of playtime on my iPod. I (just like all the other reviewers) do laud his effort to breakaway from his pop song image (it must be said though that I loved both of his previous albums and thought they were much more mature than he receives credit for and his pop status is mostly due to the singles that get the most waveplay, i.e. Wonderland). If you listen carefully though, I don't think his recent effort is too different from previous work. My favorite track has got to be Gravity. I can't get enough of this song. It also helps that it was featured in House a couple of weeks ago and now I can't sever the image of Dr. House reclaiming his cane and limp to this tune. Vultures and Belief are also great songs. But you can just see Don't Trust Myself becoming another Wonderland or Daughters. It will get heavy rotation on the radio. I'm glad he pushed for Waiting on the World to Change to be the first single released from this album. It was a good statement to make.

Now if I must criticize, and I think I must, I really really wish he would step up lyrically. He is a very intelligent guy. This comes across clearly in his other writings and interviews. But in writing lyrics for his songs he seems to be holding himself back for some reason. Splendor pointed out to me that this may be because, really the guy lives a blessed life with no strife. But I'm not buying it. Sure its true that grief is great inspiration and the healthy and well adjusted make for boring material, but there's always some heartache you can draw on, if not your own struggles then someone else's. Many writers, photographers, artists seek inspiration elsewhere outside of themselves. No I think its something else. I think he's holding back because he enjoys his commercial success and who wouldn't? But I think he should give his fans and his own writing abilities more credit and express himself lyrically on a deeper level. One not so surface and superficial.

PhD Candidate

2006-09-21T12:21:00.000-07:00

I am now officially a PhD candidate. That's right. I passed my Qualifying Exams. I not only passed, I did really well. I can't begin to tell you what a relief it is to be through that last hoop (until my defense that it). But as my adviser told me when I was done, "Now you really begin". So, I'm back in the lab re-synthesizing my degraded DNA and ready to start doing experiments again.

On another note, this weekend we go to Las Vegas! It's a good way to celebrate. S's parents are here for three more weeks and they're very keen on going. It should be great. We haven't been there in awhile.

I'm involved in planning many things right now. It's helping me remember how much I enjoy planning events. I'm doing a Napa bachelorette for my cousin and our annual departmental retreat in Laguna Beach.

I'm very frustrated with computer companies. Dell and Apple specifically. Dell for selling me a $125 REFURBISHED battery for my laptop without telling me and Apple for not shipping my laptop for one month. One month after I placed my order. Supply and demand they tell me. Seems to me they should've anticipated high demand since they did a major iPod promotion for back to school. Back to Dell because, really, at least Apple has pretty decent customer service. Bend over backwards to please for the most part. Dell. When I called to tell them they sold me a refurbished battery I must've gotten transferred to the most over-worked, under-paid call center in India. After that phone call, I felt very American in my hatred for the call centers until S reminded me of American Express (another shining example of terrific customer service, Indian call center as well). Dell told me that I knew my battery was refurbished since I ordered it online. I had to tell, let's call her rhymes with Simple, that no in fact I placed it over the phone and I spoke to three different people when I placed my order and not one of them had told me I would be getting a refurbished product. She said well ok, but you pay for return shipping. When I told her that was unacceptable, she started to yell at me. I mean really yell. She told me again that I knew it was refurbished because it was a web order. And that she won't transfer me to her supervisor because they will tell me the same thing. So since pleading did not work, I yelled. That was when I was cut-off abruptly and transferred (I thought she hung up on me, but I waited just in case). The supervisor. Alex. At least Simple told me her real name. He apologized. Good. Very insincere though. I could tell he was just going through the motions. Very scripted. He said he'd cover shipping. But. He said he will do this for me even though my 21 day return period has passed. A favor. Check. So I let him know that in fact I only received the battery the previous day and I only ordered it the previous week, so thanks and all for making an exception for me, but my return period has not expired. And I asked where I can complain. For being yelled at. And called a liar. He said he'd make a note of it. Right. They didn't ask me to fill out a survey this time. Still waiting on the battery to be picked up. The whole experience though reminded me a little bit of being in India and how it always seemed like a struggle to get the right thing, whether it was the work you paid for, the proper food you ordered, etc. It transfers here too. I've seen exactly the same attitude in Little India. It really pisses me off. I know I'm biased because I grew up here and I expect things done a certain way. But I do not think I am unreasonable in my expectations. I knew right then that one of the biggest selling/marketing points for Apple is Dell customer service.

Qualifying Exam Update

2006-09-08T11:37:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't posted in a really long time. I apologize for the neglect to the handful of you who may have at one point read. My attention was drawn back to this blog because I received a strange anonymous comment yesterday. I've decided this page was a classic case of TMI. I had way too much information on here. I don't want to start moderating comments yet, but I guess I'll have to wait and see.

I have my oral qualifying exams next Thursday and I am starting to get frantic. The proposal is submitted and I'm doing a mock presentation today in student seminar. I've had two friends who've had it this past week and both have passed. That's a bit of a relief. I've realized I've gotten a lot angrier and bitchier in the past couple of months. I think I'll be hugely relieved when this exam is over. Will keep you updated.

Quote of the Day

2006-05-05T09:42:00.000-07:00

I have personalized my Google home page to have on it comics, a game, quotes, news, weather, daily horoscope, how to's, and of course my new favorite thing, the Google eyes. It's just a pair of eyes that follow your cursor wherever it moves to on the browser. Not very difficult programming, I know, but still very cool. Sometimes I find myself just moving the cursor in circles and following the eyes. But if you haven't tried personalized Google, definitely try it. There's a ton of content to choose from, and some things are very useful like to do lists or Google mail. I'm waiting for them to do their Google calendar screen shot on the home page. But anyway....this was one of my quotes for today. I found it very encouraging, and realized I may yet be destined for great things ;)

"Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something".
- Robert Heinlein

My weekend...

2006-05-02T23:09:00.000-07:00

Indian Aunty I barely know: Wow Pinky...you've really put on weight.
Me: Yeah, I know it's just been so busy lately, I haven't had time to get to the gym
Indian Aunty I barely know: No but I mean you've put on a lot of weight
Me: Yeah I guess I have...
Indian Aunty I barely know: Because you should really watch what you eat
Me: Umm...ok...
Indian Aunty I barely know: I mean you don't want to be older and overweight, it'll just become harder to lose
Me: I guess you're right...[trying to change the subject]...so how are your daughters doing in school?
Indian Aunty I barely know: Because you know no one told me when I put on a lot of weight...
Me: Really? Because everyone tells me....and I actually am aware of it
Indian Aunty I barely know: How many pounds have you gained?
Third-party observer: Will you please get off her case?
Indian Aunty I barely know (to 3rd party observer): Why don't you mind your own business?
RIGHT....

Later in the weekend:

Me: Hi Aunty!! How are you?
Indian Aunty I barely know #2: Oh hi! I barely recognized you.
Me: Yeah, I guess I do look different.
Indian Aunty I barely know #2: Yes you do. Are you expecting?

Time for Orals

2006-05-01T10:54:00.000-07:00

It's time to start studying for orals. I am now officialy staying at home and devoting all of my time to studying, although I feel more like the comic above today. I hope the VPN to USC doesn't act up so I can browse academic journals without a problem. I also hope I can be disciplined enough to do this. Already, I'm blogging when I'm supposed to be reading...but it's ok because I'm making my dal.

We had a great time this weekend at my cousin's engagement. We saw most of the family and I'm getting very excited about the trip to Florida in July. I definitely need to have exams done by the end of June so that I can relax on the trip.

I often contemplate about what focus I want this blog to take. I have a really good idea for it, but lack the inspiration to get it started. Until then, it will be what it is, my general updates.

Intelligent Design

2006-04-25T23:27:00.000-07:00

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2286756089926250007

Love this video by Guiness. I guess I know where they stand as far as "intelligent design" is concerned. I wonder if this ad aired in the US.

Malibu Hike

2006-04-17T23:29:00.000-07:00

We went for an amazing hike in Malibu yesterday: the Sandstone Peak - Mishe Mokwa trail. It was beautiful. There were 360 degree views at Inspiration Point and we had a clear view of the ocean and Catalina. It was a medium level of difficulty hike, and I realized how out of shape I am. My heart definitely needs exercise. The vegetation was very diverse and incredibly lush because of the recent rains. We felt as if we had been transported from the urban machine that is Los Angeles to somewhere far more isolated and pristine. At times, both Sumit and myself felt as if we were in Hawaii again. We also saw a rock climber tackling Echo Cliffs. We stopped midway and had an "Easter picnic" with the friends we had gone with. All in all it was a very enjoyable experience that helped me remember how much I love the outdoors and how much natural beauty abounds around Los Angeles.

PhD Comics and Rain

2006-04-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

This comic is from phdcomics.com . It is a funny comic that, unfortunately at times, rings very true to reality.

We've stopped having weekly lab meetings in our lab which is sad. I think they're very useful. Although I have to say, my PI (principal investigator) is not the type to fall asleep in our lab meetings. He's usually very attentive when someone from the lab is presenting. I've been working weekends for the past few months and I still don't know what I'd present if I had to lead a meeting soon. I always feel like I haven't accomplished much in my year at the lab. Certainly not enough to give a whole presentation about.

It's raining again in Los Angeles. This can either be very good for traffic or VERY bad. Usually its very bad. People either drive very slow or aggressive drivers drive very fast because they're annoyed that everyone is driving slow because of the rain and get into an accident with one of the slow drivers. But everyone is also very eager to go home early, so by 6:30 pm, the freeway is completely open. At that time today the 405N (which is never open, not on weekends, not at nights, not ever) was completely open. I actually traveled 2 miles in less than the fifteen minutes it usually takes me. That was very nice. In the other direction, however, traffic was at a standstill. An aggressive driver had probably gotten into an accident with a slow driver further south.

An Engineer Joke

2006-04-11T22:51:00.000-07:00

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said: "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you forever."
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want". Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked: "What is the matter ? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you forever and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me ?"
The man said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

Recreate Blog

2006-04-11T00:22:00.000-07:00

HI..I decided to recreate this blog. I'm moving it away from a semi-professional blog, and just letting it be whatever is on my mind: rambles, rants or raves.

This weekend I saw V for Vendetta. I really enjoyed it. I should've written right after watching it. I had lots of fresh ideas in my mind about it: about terrorism, corrupt governments, vigilantes. The fine line between an idea which calls for anarchy and mass destruction against corruption for a very just cause (if there ever is such a cause for those things) and anarchy and terrorism against government one feels too powerful and controlling. Unfortunately though, those thoughts have mostly faded now. The movie was great. I liked V's character a lot. Natalie Portman...I used to really enjoy her (Beautiful Girls, Heat), but lately she's playing the same annoying role in almost all movies (Star Wars, Garden State, V). I haven't seen her in Up close and Personal though...so I can't say much, but I still think she's got huge potential. I saw bits of Batman Begins again too. I do enjoy the epic good vs bad story. Especially when it's done well. And Christian Bale. Can't decide if he has taken over Michael Keaton as my favorite Batman, but he is great. I guess this became a movie post.

Work is finally going well. I am getting a good amount of protein from this purification so far. It's very promising. It's exciting to go in and know things are happening as they should be without any great surprises or mistakes. I really need to focus on my Oral Qualifying Exams. I've been procrastinating so much that June is looking impossible to get them done by. But they should be interesting. I'm fairly certain that I have my topic down, now I just need to think of experiments.